now i regret to take journalism this course but no idea i have no way 2 turn back so juz continue my study..........(tis is my choice so i cant complain any 1)
but i dun wanna 2 change course because there are many things tat i scare................
i scare 2 remake friend with other course ppl cau they juz look like not so friendly.........
i scare after i change course wat was happened in sem 1 will repeat............
tis la tat la........
2day the journalism lecturer ask us go out n find out event tat will be oraganized in november whn i heard tis i was like blur edi..............(actually i was always blur n noob ok)
tis is an individual assignment i dunno either i can manege it or not.........
i really scare the lecturer will reject my coursework n ask me 2 re-do it............
without mabel n eris i really scare n feel like kind anxious...........
i admit tat i really terlalu rely on them edi........
therefore i always feel tat im their burden n in our assignment group i was like didnt do anything..........(i was kind of "nio gau")
everytime whn discuss assignmet through on9 o face-to-face i oso will like unresponsive...........
beside them i really juz like a kid(although im the older among 3 of us)............
tis feeling nvr appear b4 i meet them............
maybe i oso like tat kind of person (as a friend is ok but whn group together doing assignment hv problem)
everytime i go back 2 hometown my mum,my aunt,my uncle will keep asking me the same question was either i can follow the syllabus o not.........
i was kind of pressure lah...........
if i said cant 4 sure i will kena shot............
so everytime i juz answer "ok lah not,so bad lo wat the lecturer said at least i undersatnd lo."
then after all of them heard it was like "fong sum" n either continue thier previous topic o keep asking me another question like "do u think about ur future?u want 2 continue advance,degree,working o study in traning school since i can be a teacher?"
i was like so get mad in tis kind of question.......
im oso confusing about my future how cum i can answer tis kind of question?!
i found tat i began tension,nervous n even sometime i will lost control............
i wanna run away from stress,pressure n find a place tat can let me refresh my mind............
i wanna find some place to release o scream out all the thing tat hide in my mind n heart..........
i need somebody support me,heartan me o even hudge me oso can(to show support)..........
i scare tat kind of indescribable lonely,tis make me feel like im living in my own world cant walk out............
i really tired edi..........
is there anyone lend me his/her shoulder????

today journalism lecturer ask us 2 write an essay about "what was happened last two weeks?"
when i juz heard tis topic i felt like i wanna 2 faint edi cau i totally had no idea to wrote it..........
there was nothing happened last two weeks,of cause i noe i can juz wrote sumthing tat not happened last two weeks but at tat moment my brain was like cant think anything.........
be frank with u i hate to write essay,actually not hate lah but juz my idea come out very slow whn i started to write introduction my other friend was like wrote until 3 o 4 paragraph edi.....
i felt like quit stress n gan joing cau im d 1 who wrote d essay super slow,im the last 1 who submited .........
i always asked myself y i will take tis course ?
im not really smart in writing essay,language not good enough,dunno how to express and many thing else........
now im thinking after finished diploma should i continue study degree o advance diploma?o work?o apply to be a teacher?
im so confuse about my future.........

我是一名不擅长交际的人，从小到大我没有一个真正可以跟我交心的朋友.........
直到中学时期我遇到了她，其实从一开始她对我没有什么好印象因为我是一名转校生加上我不笑就是一副不可一世的样子，就没有办法嘛我就是不喜欢笑@.@
在我看来无缘无故笑会让人觉得我是一名十三点............
我和她同班了四年，我和她真的不打不相识..............
因为我们俩常为了鸡毛蒜皮的事儿吵得天翻地覆，就是这样日吵夜吵我们就从冤家变成了好朋友...
我记忆当中我和她是在初中三的那一年开始变成如今无所不谈甚至彼此间没有秘密的好朋友.........
当年年头她有整整两个星期没有来上学，初时我不以为然可是时间一天一天的过去我开始担心她的安危，于是我就问与她交情不错的宝莹...........
经过一番大打听后，原来在假期期间（接近开学时）她动了个手术所以在家休养...........
原本我要去探望她的，可是宝莹说她不喜欢别人去她家所以我只好把探望她的念头打消...........
终于她在开学后的第三个星期上学了!!!!!!!
这一年我们换了个相处的方式，我们不再为了鸡毛蒜皮的事而吵得天翻地覆..........
我们开始交换意见以及试着去了解彼此（或许人到达了某个阶段想法和心境都会变得不一样）.......
很明显的我们在风平浪静的情况下渡过了初中三的那一年..............
而知道高一的时候情况有所改变了，我不再跟她同班.........
她被校方分配到篮班，她曾经一度要求换班可是校方不批准理由是：两班是平等的.........
就这么一个简单的理由伴我俩分开了，起初我俩还没有多大的变化因为通常刚开学的两三个星期大家还是处于一个休闲的状态............
但当所有课程和课外活动开始时，我俩就显得很忙了..........
因为来自不同的制服团体，必须筹备各自的活动如：运动会操步比赛、代表学校出征花式操步比赛等一连串的活动.............
而且下课的时间也不一样以至于见面的机会变得少之又少，她开始和另外一些朋友变得熟络......
这使得我很不安，可是真正的友谊是经得起考验的..............
直到今天我俩的相处方式并没有太大的改变，有所不同的是我们学会了迁就、信任对方因为已经了解彼此.............
有多少个寂寞、伤心都是她陪我渡过不然今天的我就不是我了.............
我很庆幸在我开始叛逆的阶段出现让我尽诉心中情无论甜、酸、苦、辣只要是你能力范围内你都愿意陪我渡过........
谢谢你在我生命中留下你的足迹!
对于我来说因为有你我的中学生涯变得与众不同............

haiz,tis sem i feel like wanna 2 die ar...........
the time table so full,n i think tat i had choosen d wrong sub tat was Introduction to Drama!!!
yes i regret edi;i regret choose tis sub..........
tis sub is more n more difficult compare with chinese writing(so far d others coursemate haven started d lecture so i oso dunno either d drama easy o d chinese writing easy)
today is our 1st Drama lecture,the lecturer was so straight!!!
she told us tat d attendance 4 lecture n tutorial r compulsary.........(lolx susah 2 ponteng lah cau she is oso my tutor n in my class juz hv 8 ppl nia once ponteng u muz noe)
n d class r so "big" tat r form by many courses like PR,media study,broadcast 4 sure include journalism...........
total up there r 117 ppl in tat class n she juz mark d attendance 1 by 1 b4 d lecture started............
so tis stupid action almost wasted halfhour n we r forced 2 listen her "nice" voice read out d student name 1 by1............
n d most crazy thing was there r so many course combine together she juz want 1 ppl 2 become d "public" course rep n 1 ppl become "public" printing maneger!!!!
she said tat she dun wanna c 4 o 5 course rep c her 2gether whn she wanted 2 c o contact d course rep after lecture............
wat such stupid excuse!!!!!
how cum 1 ppl can contact so many ppl!!moreover most of us coming from different course!!!!
beside tis,she oso said tat v cant late more than 5 mins 4 d lecture if not she will not mark d attendance tat 4 those who come late..............
n more more "sui" thing tat is she is our couse's tutor..............
so i think 8 of us have 2 c her 3 hours per week!!!!
actually im not siok the way she talking 2 us juz like us as treating d small kids in primary school.......
well,tis is not d reason tat i feel i had choosen d wrong sub...........
it is because i feel tat it is too difficult 4 me 2 study............
2 study tis sub d english muz good enough ..........
yet i noe my english is not good enough,so i rather choose d sub tat i know well therefore whn exam can get d good result(although cant get the good result at least pass lah)..........
tml i will go 2 SSSH office 2 change d sub...........
hopefully i can change it lah..............(god bless me)

erm不好意思neh中秋节过了这么久才写............
没办法啦由于中秋节的时候正是本小姐的“搏杀期”加上隔天又要考EC所以就没空些咯..........
haiz,讲起中秋节就惨咯..............
今年的中秋节是本小姐有史以来最最惨的一次了，人在异乡还不用紧又遇到考试............
使到这原本应该好好与家人团聚的佳节变得好难过哦..................
KL就只有本小姐，姐姐，及两位屋友你看我我看你拿着到外头打包的麦当劳当晚餐...........
幸好还有月饼应一下景才不至于连那么一点点的中秋气氛都没有..............
就在我们正在享用着热腾腾的汉堡时，这时姐姐的电话响了...................
原来是妈妈打来的，原本以为她是打来关心关心我们这两个女儿谁知道她是打来笑我们的............
岂有此理，不关心就算了还笑！！！！！
他打来告诉我们他们那里有多么多么多好吃的食物和他们那里的气氛有多好...............
还过分到趁本小姐不在时买龙虾来吃.....................
hor,本小姐听到候真的气到.........................
谈话部分是这样的..............
妈妈：喂，你们在干嘛？
姐姐：我们在吃饭咯（哎呀，其实是在吃汉堡）
妈妈：我们这里再开“大食会”啊，有好多东西吃啊.............你们今年没回来真的“走宝”叻.......
我们买了龙虾现在正在吃哦............
二姨：哎呀，龙虾多到桌子都放不完还跌到地上去了.................
更过分的是连外婆都一起玩，跟本小姐说差一点被龙虾咽到..............
这是多么嚣张的话呀！！！！
本小姐真的气到..................
详细部分就不多些咯...............
总而言之啊，我妈妈的电话就是满场传就是要让我们心痒痒的.............
*ps:其实他们是siok sendiri nia因为他们正在骗我们............他们把芒果当龙虾目的就是要本小姐心痒痒的................

lolx,long time didnt write blog edi(nyaris 4get hv blog edi tim)..........
because of d exam i hv no time 2 care about my blog n after exam i go back 2 hometown edi........
n the worst thing was my hometown didnt hv any pc 4 me 2 use............
haiz...........
so i hv 2 wait my sis cum back den i juz can on9...........
ish,i hate tis stupid sem break!!!!!!
tis sem break even worst than the holiday tat after SPM!!!!!
at least after SPM i still hv change met with my friend n went 2 genting............
but tis sem break i juz stay at home n pretent as a guai guai lui..........
Arghhhhhhhhhhhh..........
actaully i dun wanna stay at home cau i edi stay at home 4 2 weeks edi without going out...........
everyday my life is
1.wake up any time as i like(as long as dun after 12)
2.help my father jaga shop
3.whn 7pm close the shop
4.lepak here n there until my mum finish cooking den juz can having dinner
5.go 2 grandma house n chit-chat wif her/playing wif my cousin
6.if hv pc ,after go 2 grandma house den on9
7.sleep
tis is my homtown life.........(everyday is repeat d same thing except some time my hometown friend cal me go out kpr yam cha)
can u imagine if u live like tat 4 many years wat u will feel????
actually i cant tahan..........
tat y i come out KL n study..........
if i continue stay at house i think i will get mad gua...........
hahaha...........
anyway juz leave few days nia den i go back KL against...........
so juz tahan lah...........